My 2011 Resolutions

How cliche. A New Year's post about one's New Year's resolutions.

Generally I try to refrain from such activities, but I really feel that, especially this year, putting the energy "out there" for things you hope to really and truly accomplish, can never hurt.

For those who know me, 2010 was a less than stellar year. It feels like things really can't get any more challenging than this past year. It felt like we could not dig ourselves out of the gloom and doom of events that occurred, and although some things will take time to recover from, just as the year came to an end we see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Thank God.

I feel like declaring my intentions to the world, as that helps me to become more accountable to others for my actions. More than saying to myself in the shower, "I'd like to change this and that", but rather, aver the following:

1. I want to be less offended when people claim me to be an "excellent homemaker". I've been a proud descendant of very strong feminists, one of whom was a suffraget (my great grandmother). The women in my family never burned bras, but they always instilled the belief in me that I could and would do anything I damn well wanted to. The world was my oyster, and being a wife or mother would never hold me back. Even before I found out I could not bear children, I never thought I would ever stay home to raise children. I was raised to have the best education I could have, educationally, socially, and artistically, and why would any educated woman choose to give up the world just to raise kids? The term "homemaker" to me is a "four letter word", synonymous with women who give up their whole lives just to live some antiquated idea of what women should be (stay at home, clean the house, cook (mediocre) meals, cater to their husband, run the children around, etc...) , and some time ago one of my husband's nieces praised me as being an "excellent homemaker" because I am an excellent cook and have exceptional needlework skills. At the time I was extremely offended to be backed into such a corner although I think I played it off pretty well. Then one day I was watching "Barefoot Contessa" and my perspective shifted. Ina mentioned something about how she had striven for many years to make a nice home for her husband. Now, Ina Garten has had many years in government policy, and is a former business owner. She is accomplished. And, like me, has no children. She's hardly what I would call a "homemaker" in the traditional sense, but at the same time she is an excellent entertainer, creating a second home for her non-traditional home friends who have become estranged from their families for various reasons. I want to be more like that, and can identify strongly with that cause.

2. On that note, I want to be a better friend. I realized recently, that, although I often feel isolated, I have quite a few friends who would help me bury a body if needs be. I suck at Birthday Cards/Christmas Cards/etc... I used to send regular letters, but have gotten lazy since the advent of e-mail. I was talking to one of my friends lately about how much we each appreciate receiving "real" mail (not the bills kind, but something that actually makes you feel good!), and so on that note, I aspire to regularly send notes to my friend. After all, I can't expect to be remembered thoughtfully and graciously if I don't do the same. As I always tell my husband, "It's a two way street".

3. Get back to blogging about food regularly. I really have a huge pile of new recipes to try and I want to share them. Even if only one person ever gets anything informative out of my blog, I know I have effected change. :-) I know of a few people who do actually try the things I post about, and I'm happy to hear that. I'm considering moving to a new site shortly. I've been thinking about adding video clips. Thoughts?

4. I want to be more authentic. I feel that in many venues I generally hide myself away... which is to say that I know that most people don't like my authentic, abrupt, straight-forward self and I have a habit of editing the way I appear to others in order to be "less offensive". I'm tired of it. This is not to say that I will go around being rude to everyone, but rather that I don't really care anymore what most anyone thinks. It's just too tiresome, and there will be no apologies. It's something I've started to gravitate back towards in recent months, and I think it's a positive move. I can better spend my energy on other things, like sending lovely notes to people who really care about me!

4. On a large scale, hubby and I are planning our great escape. What do we need to do and accomplish to get the hell out of Utah permanently?  Events at the end of 2010 are leading to the point we knew would always come.

If I can think of other things I will post them but these are some of the bigger things I've been mulling over recently. I don't want to spread my cosmological energy too thin.